A mini-list of words, items, or symbols you might find in asexual atmospheres: (____ can be substituted with -sexuality or -romanticism)
Aces – As in, from a deck of cards. Used as a basic symbol, especially the ace of spades.
Abro____ – Attraction that changes and fluxuates
Aceflux – Sexual attraction that changes and fluxuates
Aroflux – Romantic attraction that changes and fluxuates
Alloace – Shorthand for Alloromantic Asexual
Aroace – Shorthand for Aromantic Asexual
Autochoris____ – Attraction with a disconnect between oneself and the source of arousal, with little to no desire to participate
Allosexual/Zedsexual – Someone who feels sexual attraction
Alloromantic/Zedromantic – Someone who feels romantic attraction
Black Ring – A black ring is most commonly worn on the right middle finger to signify asexuality
Celibate – Someone who does not engage in sexual activity. Separate from sexual orientation.
Cupio____ – No attraction is felt, but there is a desire for a relationship
Demi_____ – Attraction that only develops after already having another kind of bond
Fray____ – Attraction that is initially strong, but tends to fade after forming a bond
Grey____ – Attraction that falls on the spectrum between Allo____ and A____
Hyposexual – Low sex drive
Litho____ – Attraction with no desire for reciprocation
Queerplatonic Relationship – A non-romantic relationship based on platonic love that is stronger than friendship
Sex-Neutral/Sex-Indifferent – Someone who is sex-neutral/indifferent may participate in sex for others benefit, but don’t really get anything out of it
Sex-Positive/Sex-Favorable – Someone who is sex-positive enjoys sex
Sex-Repulsed/Sex-Averse – Someone who is sex-repulsed is put off by the very idea of sex, grossed out, or plainly just doesnt like sex
Squish – An aromantic crush, a desire for a platonic relationship with someone
Varioriented – When your sexual orientation and romantic orientation aren’t the same, i.e. Aromantic pansexual, heteroromantic asexual, or biromantic homosexual. etc.
Volit____ – Attraction directed at no one in particular
Feel free to message me for more details or suggest additions to my list!
So, as an asexual person myself, I’ve decided to give some reminders for all you lovely ace people.
You are valid
You are real
You are a part of the LGBT community
You can have a fulfilling relationship without sex
If you feel like you aren’t fulfilling your partner because you don’t have sex, you are wrong, your partner would not be with you if they didn’t feel fulfilled
Although, if your partner claims they aren’t fulfilled because you aren’t having sex with them, dump their ass and find someone who respects you
You can be ace no matter your age, gender, race, etc.
IT’S OKAY TO BE ACE AND LIKE SEX
IT’S OKAY TO BE ACE AND LIKE SEX
IT’S OKAY TO BE ACE AND LIKE SEX
You do not have to be aromantic to be ace (I’m a biromantic ace myself)
However, aro-ace people are just as valid
You are not obligated to explain the nuances of your asexuality to anyone unless you’re planning to have sex with them
TW – SEXUAL ASSAULT
Having been assaulted is not always why you’re asexual, but sometimes, having been assaulted is why you’re asexual. Both are valid. (change made here because what I wrote earlier wasn’t phrased well)
TW OVER
You are not “broken”
You are not a “prude”
Demisexuals, Greysexuals, Cupiosexuals, and anyone else on the ace spectrum are also valid
If you don’t believe being asexual has any negative affect on people I was told by a psychiatrist that none of my relationships count because we didn’t have sex, and
I can’t say I’m gay since I don’t want to have sex with girls.
and I was taken off my antidepressants because they may be lowering the libido I never had in the first place (plus various other reasons, but still immediately, cold turkey, which should NEVER happen unless they’re switching you to something else)
But aphobia doesn’t exist and asexuals are privileged, right?
Sorry to add to this but I wanted to say since I’ve had bad experiences with mental health professionals and biphobia, I usually get asked “but are you sure you are sexually attracted to both sexes, are you sure it’s not just an emotional attraction?!” Like my dude don’t you think I can tell the difference between wanting to date someone and wanting to be friends? Also, due to be gray ace 90% of the time I am not even attracted to anyone but like sure, make me feel guilty that I can’t “prove” my bisexuality.
Sorry too but to add on, being aro isn’t much different. I told my therapist and she was immediately concerned that my meds were repressing “all my emotions” and wanted to take me off them. My insurance ran out and I went off them bc of no money before that happened. She also suggested dating someone anyway to “fix” the “issue” and expressed concern that my emotions (romantic feelings) weren’t present because “I’m suspicious and untrusting of everyone and don’t want to try hard enough.”
Having your orientation medicalized and invalidated is bad enough, but its fucking dangerous to have your meds taken away because you’re not performing relationships the way some doctor thinks you’re required to.
Aaaand this is why we need the bi/pan/ace/aro alliance.
this is why we need to recognize more queer experiences and identities than gay and lesbian, through increased awareness, information and representation.
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