“because we’re delta airlines / and life is a fucking nightmare”
“SCATTER!!!!!!!!”
“…which is some racist-ass bullshit, but also incredibly well coordinated for a group of thirteen year olds”
“i’m a little fat girl”
“the best thing about that was that after that, cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see like a 100-year-old blind dog who’s texting while driving and drinking a smoothie, instead they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best”
“and i was the ONE pre-y2k asshole going ‘and also with you!’”
“Don’t you have to do a shift at school tomorrow?” *drinking like it’s the end of the world* “Ehhhh, I’ll just show a video.” “That’s why teachers show videos?!”
“Salt and Pepper Diner is John Mulaney’s funniest bit” is Xanax/Prostate Exam erasure and I will not stand for it
The overlooking of “The One Thing You Can’t Replace” is a criminal act.
LISTEN, I WAS JUST WATCHING JOHN MULANEY AND I RAISE YOU
HOW COULD YOU NOT SAY DELTA AIRLINES????
Bill Clinton Never Forgets A Bitch, Ever
The responses to this post have been so amazing because it’s reminded me, and I’m sure many others, of just how many hilarious bits John Mulaney has other than s&pd
okay, but eighth graders
….. could be a nursery.
being 12 years old on anotger continent is a great alibi
“Why buy the cow, question mark?”
THAT TALL CHILD LOOKS TERRIBLE
And then. He ordered oneblack coffee for himself.
And kept driving.
LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN, HE GOT FEMININE HIPS
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